bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
