It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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