hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
