Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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