She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
