Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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