He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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