i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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