You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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