her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
