i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
