Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
sex in a hospital.. check
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
