I think i peed on brittanys purse
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize