i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
