she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
