Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
