I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
