Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
