ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
