I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize