I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
