Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
