Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize