Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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