They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
