Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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