Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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