I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
ttyl tear gas
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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