i don't like sucking hair
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
