my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
