We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
