If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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