I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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