well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
