I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
