well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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