I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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