After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
