Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
