my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
