I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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