The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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