This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
