Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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