Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
this will be a night to untag.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
