Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
