I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
did you just send me my own nude
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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