Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
