yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize