My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Rumble strips road head = magical
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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