My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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