I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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