We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
