whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
