I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
