I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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