so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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