I'm drive I can fine osifer
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
