We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize