PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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