is your mom at the bar?
I must be too annoying 4 u.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
