She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
