piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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