she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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