All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
