Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
