I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
