The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
