It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
