You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
