were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
