Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
